Not sure the news is that good… But the Indonesian spirit requests the positive answer to the question “apa kabar?” (what’s new, what’s the state of affairs ?) – and the expected answer is “Baik” (as in good / I am fine) even though you feel miserable, just had a tooth extracted, a dump in your crypto portfolio, a breaking up with your boyfriend – the answer is a short smile and a “Baik”, or a “Baik Baik aja” – a half-heartedly thrown in “well just about Okay””
The problem I have with the answer “BAIK” is, that I am conditioned in a world of trust, sharing and honesty. So when I get asked “Apa Kabar”? it happens that out of my mouth comes the honest answer “hungry”. Or asked in the middle of Bali traffic the answer might be “stressed”.
It always startles the local greeter at first, but then they laugh, because it seems to be a good joke. For me it is no joke, for them it is an out of the box answer that unsettles the common ritual.
Very rarely a local friend would react to “stressed” or “sad” – and asks back Why? What happened? Or can I support you in this …?
KABAR stems from the Arab k-h-b-r – and means originally “report” or current situation. When in the eighteenth century, traders met on shipping routes and trade stations along the coastline of the Archipelago, they would use this common Arab word to exchange information.
A question of a sailor “apa kabar” would get an answer about current conditions- Of shipping routes, dangerous waters, uprisings of tribes, tax schemes, weather conditions, or Sultans and Keraton worth stopping and trading. In any case – it would not stop at “Baik” because that doesn’t help anybody and is short of well needed information.
If Indonesians want to know what your STORY is, they say “apa ceritanya “ (cerita meaning – narrative, tale or story) KABAR got diluted in modern Indonesia, with less time to listen to each other’s information, and became a standard greeting, just as the American says “How are you “? Not expecting an answer.
When I first stayed in the US, fresh from Asia, with an European socialization, I would answer to people that utter “How R U “ – with answers that mirror my state of being. Well-being or not-so -well-being. An honest accord of my momentary state, like “devastated”, if something dramatic happened earlier that day, or “wasted” if I am seriously tired and just need a break. Yes, sometimes that answer would trigger a genuine interest and a friend would ask back “How come”?
But in most cases the “wasted” or “hungry” would go by unheard and unnoticed. I perceived that it doesn’t matter what I answer, the fact that something has been uttered counts as RESPONSE.
So now – you could go out through the roads, the narrow gang, and walkways in Bali…and try out responding to “Apa Kabar”? with your current state of being 😉
Give it a try. See how they react. It’s a challenge for both of you. Break the pattern – do the unexpected. Get genuine responses.
